Identity

The other day some one said with no small amount of surprise in his voice, "Joel, you are just a regular guy. You are like everyone else." The surprise in his voice stemmed from the fact that I am a pastor, yet apparently I don't act much like one. Guiltily, I flashed-back to my first year of seminary and my first course on Pastoral Care. In one of these classes my professor went around the room and made us each say aloud our name and soon to be earned pastoral title. When it was my turn I proclaimed, "I am Reverend Joel Renkema." It was an awkward moment for me, for all of us, which of course was the point of the exercise. Our professor wanted us to learn to embrace our new pastoral identity, even though it seemed awkward. Only in embracing our pastoral identity could we ever become effective pastors. It reminds me a little of when I first was married. I couldn't stop fidgeting with my wedding ring. I had to suppress a giggle every time I looked at Alison and realized that she was my WIFE and I was now a HUSBAND. Weird. Awkward. Yet I could only hope to be a good husband if and when I fully embraced this identity. I wonder what my pastoral care professor would say to me if he heard that people see me just like some regular guy who is like everyone else. He might shake his head with disappointment that I did not act more pastoral, whatever that looks like. But then again, does embracing an identity really mean that we must change who we are? When I married Alison and became a husband I did not stop being me. In fact I think marriage has made me a better me. I wonder about the ultimate identity we can carry: Christian. The title Christian means different things to different people these days. Even so, we who are Christians, how quick are we to own our identity? It is easy to say, "Jesus Loves Me." But say out loud, "I love Jesus." It is amazing to me, when I think about it, that I can go a week or even a day without saying this out loud. After all it defines who I am as a Christian. It defines who I am period. But how well do I embrace it?

I wonder if why more people don't look at me and other Christians say, "I want to be like that!" is because we don't embrace our identity as fully as we could. I wonder if it is because we treat our faith like a product that we are trying to sell. I think to outsiders Christianity often seems like something we use or something we do. The truth of the matter, however, is that Christianity is who we are. Our faith, our love of Jesus is not a product. It is a relationship. It is an identity. Our world is filled with things to buy. Materials abound for the consumer to attain. Ask any businessperson and they will tell you that it is a competitive, dog eat dog, cutthroat world out there. It is no wonder then that when we turn our faith into another product to sell and begin looking for a consumer demographic that we are going to struggle. There is enough competition out there without Christianity joining the mix of self-help fixes or purchases that bring happiness. But we also live a the most insulated and lonely culture in the history of humanity. Our technology (twitter, email, drive-through pharmacies, etc) makes actual human interaction less important. We live days and miles away from our nearest family. Our world is packed full of lonely people who bump past each other, desperate for relationships. And what identifies us Christians above all else is THE relationship. Perhaps this is our niche.